Watching, listening, enjoying. . .

I have actually constructed this post over a period of several days, pondering as I went forward and trying to focus on content, intent, and outcome. That's a little academic isn't it. Sorry, let's try this, "When is the last time you just sat and watched and listened - and didn't do anything else?"

By training I am a qualitative researcher, and for those of you who don't know what that means I can provide plenty of books and references. But essentially, qualitative researchers don't try to prove hypotheses, but approach research from the perspective of observing human behavior through a variety of techniques and then creating meaning from the data gathered or what early on was called "grounded theory."


The photo above is of two of my granddaughters and is precious. It was their first time on the light rail and they thought it was a GREAT adventure. The idea that Grandpa was taking them out for a special ride was way cool. For me as I sat and watched them I saw excitement, joy, anticipation, impatience (are we there yet?), and most of all happiness. The photo radiates with fun, joy, and happiness. It makes you want to relive the moment again and again. I have thought frequently about the time we spent together on the metro that day and realize just how much I enjoyed the time with my grandchildren. It was special because it was something they had never done before. How often can a Grandpa do that? Probably not often enough.

However, as a Grandpa I choose not to function as a qualitative researcher. Rather I choose to be an observer where my focus moves from analysis to enjoying and experiencing the moment my grandchildren are creating for themselves. It helps if I take a photo to remember the experience, but taking a photo really can reduce the opportunity to watch and listen. On the other side, however, the photo enhances my recall of the experience and I can enjoy it more often. Take for example this photo of my granddaughter filling her bucket up with water. I sat and watched her for several minutes as she tried to get the bucket full of water and not get her dress or blouse wet. When she did get it wet she was a little frustrated and tried to wipe the water off. Finally she got the bucket as full as she could and was satisfied, but had no idea how to turn the water off. That is when she was ready for some big people help.

Watching is about observing. It is not like watching television or multi-tasking. Watching is a full-time task, especially if you want to learn something. And grandchildren, regardless of their age always are worth watching. It may be how they play, how they interact, how they relax. There are no inhibitions, no standards (except for those few imposed by us), no preconceptions of right and wrong. They know how to have fun instinctively and they can take any situation and turn it into fun, unless of course we are embarrassed, and then no one has fun.

When is the last time you just sat and watched someone have fun? Try it. Don't overthink it or preconceive what should happen, just watch and be quiet.

Next time let's talk about listening.