Thanksgiving Weekends Present and Past

There is joy when there is food

We had a quiet Thanksgiving weekend at home this year. Last year we visited my family in California and the two years before that our whole family gathered in Boise, ID for what we decided was a great event, but also a little crazy.

I am reminded at this time of the year of recent and past Thanksgivings. When I was a child we would travel to Des Moines, IA, the family home, and gather two families together and have a large Thanksgiving feast - usually at the Merriam home since it was large enough to accommodate all of us. Grandpa would bring in saw horses and 2 large pieces of plywood for all of us to sit around the table - and we filled it. Unfortunately I could not find a Thanksgiving photo, but the Christmas photo from 1954 will have to do. Of course Grandpa Merriam was never in the photo, he was too busy taking pictures.


And some of our Thanksgivings were spent in other areas. Driving from Provo, UT to Port Angeles, WA in 1973 for a Thanksgiving with my younger brother. It brought together all 3 of the then McLean grandchildren of our parents. The ride to and from Thanksgiving is always exciting and this was no exception. Caught in the mountains of Oregon in a heavy snow our car died, we were towed many miles into a La Grande, OR where we had the car repaired. It was a long afternoon in a gas station. We were driving a Toyota and there were no Toyota dealers in town so we had to rely on the local mechanic, and of course he had never worked on a Toyota. Long story for later, but we finally left town and decided Bosie was as far as we could get that day. Little did we know that 23 years later we would be back in Boise for a wedding.

Below are the first 3 McLean grandchildren of our parent's generation, allbeit, not at a Thanksgiving table, but breakfast works.


That may have been the last quiet Thanksgiving we had, but nothing in 1973 could have prepared us for Thanksgiving 2005, back in Boise, ID for a family that included Mom and Dad (that's us), 7 children, 6 in-laws (1 daughter-in-law and 5 son-in-laws), and 10.9 grandchildren. What a roaring time we had at that Thanksgiving as the following photographs attest. Some experiences are so important to a family they should not be forgotten. Many of the photos of that year are found on my flickr page, the ones below, however, are focusing on fun, family, and of course, eating. Look and enjoy.

Yes, it is a little tough finding a table for 25.9

It isn't what everyone else has, it is what I have on my plate that counts!

Mike can always be counted on to bring joy, fun and uniqueness to the table.

And of course, the ".9" factor!

And so, Thanksgiving is truly about being thankful for all we have and especially for family. We give, we receive, we share, we joy, we pain, but in the end we are a family eternal.

My next posts may focus on the idea of listening and watching.

Why We Shoot Photos

David Pogue in his New York Times Blog recently wrote about "Why we shoot home videos." He identified 5 reasons including (1) for our older selves, (2) for our descendants, (3) for pleasure, (2) for historians, and (5) for posterity. Read David's post to enjoy his discussion.

It got me to thinking about why we do shoot photography. The collage above represents our family photo historians. Each of us has shot thousands of photos - many of those in 35 mm slide film. In the back is Robert Merriam (yes there are 2 of him), who began taking slide photos almost from the very beginning of availability of Kodak 35mm slides. He was an early adopter and he took copious notes on every slide including date, location, subject, time, speed, and aperture. Jean (Merriam) McLean followed in her father's passion shooting many 35 mm slides documenting our family. Both were gone before digital photography became available. I'm sure they would have loved it. I began shooting shortly after I was married 40 years ago and have amassed a large collection of slides of our family. I also have many of my grandfather's and mother's slides. I almost forgot. In the left upper corner are 2 of my sisters and my nephew. They are late adopters, but they are making up for lost time - especially my nephew.

We love to sit and watch slides as children and have fond memories of doing so. Okay, the truth was, we did watch slides, but at the same time we didn't want to do it too often. Now that we are older it is more fun. Flickr and other photo sharing technologies allow us to see the photos anytime we want, instead of waiting until the whole family gets together. Technology has changed the way we view photos and the availability of photography. Where I would once shoot maybe 4 or 5 slides, I now shoot as many as I want and hope to get a good one. Okay folks, why compose when I can hope for luck.

While this is a hobby, it is also important to me. When we lost our grandson I gathered photos from multiple family members and put together a 208 photo video for the funeral. No one person in the family had sufficient photos, but together we did quite well. In addition I made DVDs for the entire family - over 30 at this point, and while we may not watch it much, we have it and it is a reminder of someone we will always love, remember, and appreciate.

So, why do we shoot photos/videos? I think because we all like to think of ourselves as a part of history and a part of a larger family. It keeps us closer together. It allows us to be a part of other membes lives who may not be so close. When Joshua was born his Mom and Dad (mostly Mom) already had a blog going and we felt like we were part of his first few weeks. The blog was liberally sprinkled with great photos and videos. This helps to strengthen the family unit.

Well, I'm off to do some more family history recording - or as a former colleague said, "I'm 'making history.'" Well spoken.

First Holds, or Close to First Holds

After writing about first time holding a new grandchild I went back into some of my photo archives to see if I had more. They are in this posting.

Grandma McLean holding Bonnie Jean

Great Grandma McLean holding Jeni with Donna watching. Great Grandma Merriam to the left.

Grandma McLean with Donna (I don't know who those 2 young people are)

Grandpa Merriam holding Pam

The Phone Call

Yesterday I called my daughter in Colorado just to touch base. It was late afternoon and later at her house than mine. Granddaughter 3 answered and said "Who is this?"

Of course, I responded with, "I don't know who's this?"

"Is that you Grandpa?"

"Yes it is. What are you doing?"

"Just laying here watching television."

"Why aren't you doing your homework?"

"Because I'm just laying here."

"Do you have homework?"

"No."

"Oh. Well is your Mom there?"

"No, but you can call her on her cell phone."

"That's okay. When your Mom get's home tell her, 'Na Na Na Naa Na - I talked to Grandpa and you didn't!'"

"Giggle, Giggle."

"Bye Sweetheart"

"Bye Grandpa"

It was a great conversation with an 8 year old.

Holding Them For the First Time

One of the great pleasures of being a grandpa is holding your grandchild for the first time. I never, and I mean never, tire of that first contact. Come to think of it. I don't tire of the 2nd through the 2,000th contact either. But it's that first time when I get to hold them, regardless of how old they are, that is special. For a grandpa that is a bonding moment. That new little life creates special feelings about being a parent and grandparent. My/our children created that same feeling. It is a moment to be cherished forever. It's another miracle and a miracle of miracles. What a joy. It's the last time they will be new to me. They will still be special - in fact they will always be special - but it's that first moment when you get to hold them, look at the beautiful (at least beautiful to me) face. Grandpa's live for this first experience - just as Dad's do. The sense of wonder of life, of the blessings (and challenges) to come. But at this moment all is perfect, all is whole, all is eternal. I am thankful for grandchildren and the reminder of renewal they bring to our lives.

What Grandpa's Can't Prepare For. . .

Life is about anticipating, planning, participating, experiencing, and remembering. Sometimes things happen that do not allow us to plan or anticipate. Sometimes these are good. Some are not. Some things you cannot plan for. The loss of a grandson is one of those things. My daughters have written at considerably about the loss of our grandson, cousin, nephew and son. I have delayed doing so, not wanting to unnecessarily add to the grief. Yet I realize that I too need to add to the topic.

Calvin is one of the early motivations for this blog. I want to be able to remember my grandchildren in ways that are immediate and memorable. Too often we hear, see, feel and then let it go. I do keep a written journal, but that is more for me and my grandchildren when they are old enough to learn more about me.

As our oldest grandson Calvin is special. All of our grandchildren are special and always will be, but there is something about being the first grandchild that causes us feel differently. Until 15 months ago we did not live close to any of our children or grandchildren. The last 15 months has been special since we have been able to see our children and grandchildren so much more frequently. We have begun new bonds and I will talk about that in a later post. Calvin was the closest, just a mere 6.5 hours away.

At the internment Jill Holker, Calvin's aunt, captured this moment of 5 of the uncles and Cole (Calvin's little brother) touching the casket in a tender good-bye. In some way, this photo has spoken to me about love, loss, family, tenderness, and compassion. Everyone is expressing a thought. Tim and Cole have touched the casket as if to say "We are still with you."

I can't write this without tears. I still struggle with the grief that my oldest is gone. Yet, we celebrated his loss with joy and happiness too. We should never forget the smile, joy, pleasure, and downright orneriness that was part of Calvin. We all loved him for it. We will always love him for it. His body may be at rest, but his spirit lives on and as a family we will not forget.

Been there - Saw that or "We beat you Donna"

Okay, what can I say. We are sitting at lunch with our daughter and her husband today when I suggest, "Let's go see the new James Bond movie." Everyone was up for it. I checked my iPhone and found out we had 10 minutes. We drove across Charleston to the Red Rock, got our tickets and watched Quantum of Solace. If you've watched Donna's blog you know she has been touting it for weeks now - but we beat her. Of course as soon as we got in the theater we SMSd her with a "At Quantum of Solace. Eat your heart out!" After the movie we called and she said, "Don't tell me anything!" At 7:10 pm we got a text message saying "I'm third in line for seats." and the part she didn't tell was, it doesn't start of another 90 minutes. No, we are not giving any of it away.

The forgotten good-bye

It's all about where you start. The beginning is usually the best. I discover almost every day that being a grandparent is a wonderful experience. Take Sunday, I flew home early from Colorado and from my daughter's home. Her oldest daughter was asleep when I left and when she came down stairs later her first words were, "Where's Grandpa?" Mom goes, "He needed to get home so I took him to the airport." "He left without saying goodbye!"

Did I feel like a heal? Yep. I was trying to be quiet, keep the house noise down, and just sneak out, which I tend to do. Next time it will be all about waking everyone up. Sorry kids, but no more sneaking out - well maybe. I do love leaving late at night!
[Note: The photos is a few years old - Oldest daughter is now a teen]