Fathers I have Known

It is Father’s Day - that annual time of the year when we are supposed to be appreciated - even if we don’t always deserve it. That’s a different topic. I want to talk about some fathers that have been an inspiration for me. And yes, you can assume it will be biased, as it should be. I had 3 fathers in my life that were models to me, my father and my 2 grandfathers. Each was special in his own way. My own dad is an inspiration. He is now 90 years old and I hope I can be as active as he is when I’m 90. Of course I want to be a little less cantankerous, but he isn’t bad.


Dad was always there for us. He was busy, but somehow found time for us, whether it was going to Scout camp with us. I can remember long trips to visit family. When we lived in Texas we would leave for Iowa about 8 pm and Dad would drive until we got to Kansas, when Mom would take over. He never said much, but I remember those long drives. He was always a quiet presence, teaching us by example. Living on a military base we had to know how to mow, trim, and edge the law so it would pass an inspection. He taught us how to work and how to do the job right. That clearly took through our whole family and has been passed on to the next generation.

My grandfathers were special. They never lived close, but we knew who they were and as we grew older they became even more special. My brother and I would go to Des Moines and spend a month every summer with Grandpa and Grandma McLean. We would ride the trolley downtown, go the Standard Seed Company where Grandpa worked, and watched the 4th of July Parade from the office. We would go to drive-in movies, eat popcorn and drink cola. They took my brother and I on vacation to Missouri one year. It was so much fun. When I graduated from high school in Abilene, Texas I moved to California and lived with my grandparents. They had a small house and they welcomed me, took care of me, and nurtured me. For JoAnn, they were the first McLean’s she had met and I think their example helped me win her.

In some ways my Grandpa Merriam had a major influence. His example was so important to me. He was always busy, always doing something, always engaged. He was an entrepreneur when we didn’t know what that was, doing a variety of things in his life. He showed me beauty, endurance, and how to finish. He began gathering his family genealogy in the mid 1930s while living in Chicago. When we lived in Texas they would come visit. We thought Texas to be a desert (we know better now) and we lived on the edge of our housing area (we lived on a military base) he would go out, gather flowers and create small arrangements and then take photos of them. He found beauty where we found bleakness. He never gave up and he never stopped.

I have 4 son-in-laws and one son who are fathers. In each one of them I have observed attributes that make them great fathers. Each in their own way have become a partner with their wife building a relationship and a home environment where their children thrive. As a grandfather I can’t ask for much more than that. Being a father is about doing the right things, but the hardest part is learning to do the right things. Sometimes that is very challenging. I see in my son and son-in-laws efforts to try to do the right things and a willingness to learn from their mistakes. I also see a humility and a love for their wives and children which I believe is the proper foundation. I see in my son and son-in-law who are not fathers, yet, the same attributes. I’m proud of my family.