Wordless Wednesday Monday Birthday

Sally's Last Birthday Hurrah

I know this is late on Sunday afternoon - even for Las Vegas, but we have had a busy day, that of course included a little nap. When you hit your post hippie years (at least that was how Alyssa described me when she saw me in my plaid pants and red shirt) you need more rest. Plus, I discovered we must have taken a vacation from embarrassing our children and I had to hunt hard for photos. Sometime in the 1980s companies quit doing slides and we quit taking photos using slides. Bad idea! Following a diligent and detailed search I've found a few photos to finish off Sally's X1st Birthday. Hey, that's less than half my age or was I not supposed to say that.

Enjoy the photos Sally,

My personal favorite in this batch is our beach girl from our visits to Alabama, of course coming in the middle of an Indiana winter, Sally got her sunburn. What would she do without her mother?

Our little girl likes her hamburgers and never turns down a lap.

Somewhere with her best friend Melissa. Two sixth graders on the loose is dangerous.
Suzanne and Sally out front.
And here is almost the whole gang in a grainy dark photo, but everyone can find Strider in the front.

Sally has a certain unreasonable love for nutcrackers.

At the beach with the gang and check out the shark's teeth.
It's Mother's Day 1997 and Grandpa & Grandma Ruby were in town, however, why Sally gets to cut the cake is a mystery to me. She was no mother ... then!
And we finish with everyone's favorite dog - Strider.

Newbies

If there is anything constant in our family it is change. We figured since we, or I had to be in Salt Lake City, we could just drive on up to Boise and check things out. There is a good reason. Daughter 3 is due any day now with her 5th child - Hattie. And Mike gets married on Friday, October 23.

On Saturday, that's today, his fiance Allison (photo below) is going to the Boise LDS Temple to receive her endowments. If you aren't LDS I will only say this is a very sacred ceremony and prepares them for their marriage the following week, which unlike most we see, includes being sealed for time and eternity. We wanted to be present for today's experience and support her and Mike.

Over the past 15 months JoAnn and I feel like we have been on the road almost constantly on family business. It's not really business, but it is support. It includes 3 new babies, a funeral, 1 marriage, a family reunion in Colorado, Christmas in Des Moines, 2 college graduations (note some of these activities are still in the near future), baby blessings, Aaronic Priesthood ordinations, visits to my Dad and Sisters, and visits by families to Las Vegas. There is one common thread in all of this - family. Our move to Las Vegas was truly a blessing. We are now able to share more of our time with all of our children and grandchildren. That is exciting for us. We enjoy these times and experiences. I feel like I know the roads to Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Idaho, and California and the sky-ways to Iowa. They have become common to us.

When we lived in Indiana it was so much more challenging to make these visits. We felt like we missed a lot. Not now and while I know we will slow this pace down, it has been fun.

This Week's Mail

I will be the first to admit that I'm not typically excited by the mail. In Las Vegas we receive more ads in the mail than we used to receive in the Sunday newspaper. If they were putting ads through the mail elsewhere like they do in Las Vegas the Post Office wouldn't have a budget problem and we could still send mail for 25 cents (well, maybe not).

However, I learned from my dad that he had received Allison & Mike's wedding announcement. I hadn't. Or at least I didn't think I had received it. That was Thursday evening. I came home, but it was late enough I really didn't think about the mail. On Friday morning I found it on the kitchen counter. You can see the photo above. JoAnn had gotten the mail just before she left for the temple, so she took it with her. It was great to wake up and find the invitation and photo first thing on Friday morning. It's the best mail we have received in weeks.

On the down side, now we have nothing to look forward to in the mail until that next grandchild arrives. Or unless JoAnn, or one of our children (hint) sends us a surprise. On second thought, I guess we will just have to wait until Hattie is born - and then I have to look at email, MMS, facebook, but no real mail. I guess I can live with that - as long as we get something showing the cute little girl.

Three Days, Two Nights, Three Celebrations

When you are young you don't realize how busy life can get when you are older. You also don't realize how important small things become. Celebrations are "small things" that build great families. JoAnn wrote in her blog about our Modesto trip. It was 3 days and almost 2 nights, but the celebrations occurred in Modesto and Boise and we could only attend one of the three. Suzanne and Sally spoke of their celebrations - a birthday and an anniversary. Our's was a birthday bash and a father only turns 89 one time.


We have not lived close enough in 37 years to attend a birthday party for my father, yet this year we made the mad 8-hour dash north and had a Friday birthday lunch. It was so much fun! We found a new little restaurant about 4 blocks from Dad & Ruby's place and it was all comfort food, owned by a local group, and the food was almost as good as the companionship. I don't think I've ever seen Dad put away so much fish and chips. He even took my extra fish & chips home for later. And yes, he ate them.


Saturday was the big bash. All 3 sisters and families (that were in town) were present. It's a little overwhelming when we are all together. Everyone talks, some even listen, everyone is in motion, and it all centers around Jeri's kitchen. In all I think there were 13 of us plus 3 dogs. For a family that grew up without dogs, we sure have changed that! Of course, only Penny was allowed in the house since she doesn't consider herself a dog.

It was fun, company, presents, and family. Put it all together and you get a real feel for why families can love each other so much - in spite of our differences. When we get to the core we are more alike than different. Dad got in one game of cribbage and he must be getting old since I had to give him 2 points he missed. I don't think he ever missed any points before. And he still beat me! Of course the family dominoes game has morphed into a set of rules that focuses on cooperation rather than competition - although there is still a winner. It was a tad difficult to get a feel for the first game. I was more focused on "winning" than on cooperating. JoAnn won the first game and I didn't win the 2nd game. Wait, I didn't win any games.

At the end of the day we just sat out on the patio and relaxed. JoAnn and Jeri got a head start while I shot a few photos of them. Later, as JoAnn explained, we watched and listened for the owls. What a great family weekend.

Faces of Eight

I'm not sure what it is about being 8 years old, but I know it is all about fun. Two weeks ago when we were in Utah I took some photos of Cole at his baptism and I recognized a spirit of fun that he obviously enjoys. And he is not alone, his two cousins Alexis and Meagan had the same experiences when it was time for their baptism.


Those who are eight years old are at a tender and challenging age. Actually, I think mothers would suggest every age is challenging, just some ages are more challenging than others. But that's the topic of another post. They are tender in that they are coming out of those baby years and moving into those fast growing years. Over the next 9 or 10 years their mothers are not going to be able to satisfy their hunger or keep them in clothes that fit. And their emotions are on a roller-coaster ride that makes any amusement park look tame. Yes, I am talking about girls too.

So it is important we nurture, guide, encourage, sometimes threaten (but carefully and with love), and help them to grow. It is also important we don't lose that spirit of fun, just as it is important we don't take the fun out of their life. You see, it is the fun that so often makes life enjoyable. I still believe in fun and the importance of it in our lives.

Those faces are a mere representation of the zest they have for life. I love that zest and I love those 8-year olds in our family. The best part is, we have more coming and I'm looking forward to it.

If you are wondering, Meagan can make some great faces, I just didn't catch one.

By the way, to those post 8-year olds in the family - you are still fun too.

Watching, listening, enjoying. . .

I have actually constructed this post over a period of several days, pondering as I went forward and trying to focus on content, intent, and outcome. That's a little academic isn't it. Sorry, let's try this, "When is the last time you just sat and watched and listened - and didn't do anything else?"

By training I am a qualitative researcher, and for those of you who don't know what that means I can provide plenty of books and references. But essentially, qualitative researchers don't try to prove hypotheses, but approach research from the perspective of observing human behavior through a variety of techniques and then creating meaning from the data gathered or what early on was called "grounded theory."


The photo above is of two of my granddaughters and is precious. It was their first time on the light rail and they thought it was a GREAT adventure. The idea that Grandpa was taking them out for a special ride was way cool. For me as I sat and watched them I saw excitement, joy, anticipation, impatience (are we there yet?), and most of all happiness. The photo radiates with fun, joy, and happiness. It makes you want to relive the moment again and again. I have thought frequently about the time we spent together on the metro that day and realize just how much I enjoyed the time with my grandchildren. It was special because it was something they had never done before. How often can a Grandpa do that? Probably not often enough.

However, as a Grandpa I choose not to function as a qualitative researcher. Rather I choose to be an observer where my focus moves from analysis to enjoying and experiencing the moment my grandchildren are creating for themselves. It helps if I take a photo to remember the experience, but taking a photo really can reduce the opportunity to watch and listen. On the other side, however, the photo enhances my recall of the experience and I can enjoy it more often. Take for example this photo of my granddaughter filling her bucket up with water. I sat and watched her for several minutes as she tried to get the bucket full of water and not get her dress or blouse wet. When she did get it wet she was a little frustrated and tried to wipe the water off. Finally she got the bucket as full as she could and was satisfied, but had no idea how to turn the water off. That is when she was ready for some big people help.

Watching is about observing. It is not like watching television or multi-tasking. Watching is a full-time task, especially if you want to learn something. And grandchildren, regardless of their age always are worth watching. It may be how they play, how they interact, how they relax. There are no inhibitions, no standards (except for those few imposed by us), no preconceptions of right and wrong. They know how to have fun instinctively and they can take any situation and turn it into fun, unless of course we are embarrassed, and then no one has fun.

When is the last time you just sat and watched someone have fun? Try it. Don't overthink it or preconceive what should happen, just watch and be quiet.

Next time let's talk about listening.

Thanksgiving Weekends Present and Past

There is joy when there is food

We had a quiet Thanksgiving weekend at home this year. Last year we visited my family in California and the two years before that our whole family gathered in Boise, ID for what we decided was a great event, but also a little crazy.

I am reminded at this time of the year of recent and past Thanksgivings. When I was a child we would travel to Des Moines, IA, the family home, and gather two families together and have a large Thanksgiving feast - usually at the Merriam home since it was large enough to accommodate all of us. Grandpa would bring in saw horses and 2 large pieces of plywood for all of us to sit around the table - and we filled it. Unfortunately I could not find a Thanksgiving photo, but the Christmas photo from 1954 will have to do. Of course Grandpa Merriam was never in the photo, he was too busy taking pictures.


And some of our Thanksgivings were spent in other areas. Driving from Provo, UT to Port Angeles, WA in 1973 for a Thanksgiving with my younger brother. It brought together all 3 of the then McLean grandchildren of our parents. The ride to and from Thanksgiving is always exciting and this was no exception. Caught in the mountains of Oregon in a heavy snow our car died, we were towed many miles into a La Grande, OR where we had the car repaired. It was a long afternoon in a gas station. We were driving a Toyota and there were no Toyota dealers in town so we had to rely on the local mechanic, and of course he had never worked on a Toyota. Long story for later, but we finally left town and decided Bosie was as far as we could get that day. Little did we know that 23 years later we would be back in Boise for a wedding.

Below are the first 3 McLean grandchildren of our parent's generation, allbeit, not at a Thanksgiving table, but breakfast works.


That may have been the last quiet Thanksgiving we had, but nothing in 1973 could have prepared us for Thanksgiving 2005, back in Boise, ID for a family that included Mom and Dad (that's us), 7 children, 6 in-laws (1 daughter-in-law and 5 son-in-laws), and 10.9 grandchildren. What a roaring time we had at that Thanksgiving as the following photographs attest. Some experiences are so important to a family they should not be forgotten. Many of the photos of that year are found on my flickr page, the ones below, however, are focusing on fun, family, and of course, eating. Look and enjoy.

Yes, it is a little tough finding a table for 25.9

It isn't what everyone else has, it is what I have on my plate that counts!

Mike can always be counted on to bring joy, fun and uniqueness to the table.

And of course, the ".9" factor!

And so, Thanksgiving is truly about being thankful for all we have and especially for family. We give, we receive, we share, we joy, we pain, but in the end we are a family eternal.

My next posts may focus on the idea of listening and watching.

First Holds, or Close to First Holds

After writing about first time holding a new grandchild I went back into some of my photo archives to see if I had more. They are in this posting.

Grandma McLean holding Bonnie Jean

Great Grandma McLean holding Jeni with Donna watching. Great Grandma Merriam to the left.

Grandma McLean with Donna (I don't know who those 2 young people are)

Grandpa Merriam holding Pam

Holding Them For the First Time

One of the great pleasures of being a grandpa is holding your grandchild for the first time. I never, and I mean never, tire of that first contact. Come to think of it. I don't tire of the 2nd through the 2,000th contact either. But it's that first time when I get to hold them, regardless of how old they are, that is special. For a grandpa that is a bonding moment. That new little life creates special feelings about being a parent and grandparent. My/our children created that same feeling. It is a moment to be cherished forever. It's another miracle and a miracle of miracles. What a joy. It's the last time they will be new to me. They will still be special - in fact they will always be special - but it's that first moment when you get to hold them, look at the beautiful (at least beautiful to me) face. Grandpa's live for this first experience - just as Dad's do. The sense of wonder of life, of the blessings (and challenges) to come. But at this moment all is perfect, all is whole, all is eternal. I am thankful for grandchildren and the reminder of renewal they bring to our lives.