The Perfect Weekend

There are lots of ways to describe weekends and perfect is a term that is used frequently. In fact, perfect is an overworked term. For example there is the "perfect game", the "perfect storm", the "perfect tense", and so forth. The term perfect is defined as, "having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be." That's how I would describe this past weekend

We had all of our children with us in Boise, ID for our youngest son's wedding. It is always an event when we all get together and we all enjoy one another. What made Friday and Saturday special was that our family grew by a whole new family, not just a new daughter-in-law. We made new friends, strengthened family, and on Sunday as everyone was leaving we all felt great. Of course we were all so proud of Mike and Allison and the decisions they made. The daughters have already accepted her as a family member. The Newlyweds even showed up for an informal getting-away dinner on Saturday evening. I would never have done that as a newlywed, but they did, signaling to us just how important family is to them.

Youngest daughter and I drove to Utah for Sunday evening and early Monday morning (still the weekend) we took off for Las Vegas and hadn't gotten too far down the road when the first text message came in. Daughter 3 was in the hospital for the birth of a little girl (Hattie). By 2 pm MDT she had accomplished that miracle and as I talked to her later and asked how Hattie was doing, her response was "Perfect!" And so, you see it was a perfect weekend.

PS - I would be delighted to share a photo of Hattie, but the one's I have are just not cute enough.

Newbies

If there is anything constant in our family it is change. We figured since we, or I had to be in Salt Lake City, we could just drive on up to Boise and check things out. There is a good reason. Daughter 3 is due any day now with her 5th child - Hattie. And Mike gets married on Friday, October 23.

On Saturday, that's today, his fiance Allison (photo below) is going to the Boise LDS Temple to receive her endowments. If you aren't LDS I will only say this is a very sacred ceremony and prepares them for their marriage the following week, which unlike most we see, includes being sealed for time and eternity. We wanted to be present for today's experience and support her and Mike.

Over the past 15 months JoAnn and I feel like we have been on the road almost constantly on family business. It's not really business, but it is support. It includes 3 new babies, a funeral, 1 marriage, a family reunion in Colorado, Christmas in Des Moines, 2 college graduations (note some of these activities are still in the near future), baby blessings, Aaronic Priesthood ordinations, visits to my Dad and Sisters, and visits by families to Las Vegas. There is one common thread in all of this - family. Our move to Las Vegas was truly a blessing. We are now able to share more of our time with all of our children and grandchildren. That is exciting for us. We enjoy these times and experiences. I feel like I know the roads to Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Idaho, and California and the sky-ways to Iowa. They have become common to us.

When we lived in Indiana it was so much more challenging to make these visits. We felt like we missed a lot. Not now and while I know we will slow this pace down, it has been fun.

Sharing Together

One of the great opportunities for a grandparent is to be able to share experiences with their children and grandchildren. Last weekend was an opportunity for us to share experiences that are important to us as we move through this mortal life and prepare us for the eternities. JoAnn and I have made a commitment to be present for many of these experiences. Only as we have moved west have we had the opportunity to be involved in more of these experiences.

Last week in Aurora: 4 families

Some of the experiences are sacred to us and our family. Others allow us to gain glimpses of what our family might become, and yet others allows us to enjoy the moments we have together. I have come to the realization that each experience is precious in its own way. It may appear that some experiences are similar to other experiences we have had, but in reality, each is unique and special.

Family in December, 2000

Last weekend as I watched our children visit with one another and strengthen their bonds I was encouraged and reminded how JoAnn and I sometimes wondered if our family would still be a family as the children grew and went their own ways. We have come to the realization that our family members are unique and different, and yet, they are of one in heart and spirit. The strength of our family comes from the love each has for the other.

They understand the importance of family and we watch them strengthen those relationships among themselves and among their children, individually and collectively. I've never seen a group of cousins who are so close. I know as they grow they will go their individual ways, but they will always be reminded of the times they had together.

A friend of mind spoke recently of his children being so busy they did not have time for their parents. I was struck by that, because this is a good and loving man. It gave me pause and reminded me of the need for our family to always find time for one another. So far I think they do a pretty good job. I feel blessed as a father and a husband. Thank you JoAnn and thank you kids. And thank you to my parents who taught me to love.

A Day at the Park

We had a busy morning getting Ellen off to school and Dean off to Mexico, then Alexis, Danny, Deano & I were off for donuts and back for a little relaxation. By 11:30 am we'd had enough relaxation and we decided we were hungry. So it was off to the Bradley's to pick up the family, some food, and hit the park. We did just that. A dad, grandpa, and 5 children under 8. More appropriately an 8 year old and 4 under 4. We are brave or stupid and I haen't decided which just yet.

Nothing like lunch in the park.

I just picked out a few of the cuter photos for here and put most of the photos on my flickr account.

Come on, does it get any cuter than this?

The kids had a great time. About 2:30 pm we noted they were moving awfully slowly. At that point Jay and I figured it was time to take them home. Sure enough Deano slept all the way home and Danny is asleep now. These are the experiences memories are built of. I'm sure glad I have this time in Idaho while the daughters converge in Las Vegas.

Bonnie moving from the end of the slide to her next adventure.

Alexis showing off!

Cousins having great fun! Lookout world!

Mother's Day

It's that wonderful time of the year again when we get to recognize our mothers for all they have done for us. When you are little it's about drawing photos, going out with dad to buy a gift, and helping make breakfast for mom. As you grow through your teenage years it becomes a little more difficult. We still appreciate our mother, but we begin to see her in a different light. Then we leave home for college, military, work, marriage and discover a whole world out there where other moms just didn't measure up to our mom. Then, if we males are fortunate, we marry a wonderful woman and the word mother brings on a whole new meaning as we begin to have little ones arrive. (Off the the right is JoAnn and Donna, 1970)

I think I have lived long enough now to meet many wonderful mothers, but none have been better than my mother and my wife. I add to that list our daughters and daughter-in-law who are mothers or someday will be. Of course the list is not complete without my sisters, sister-in-law, Aunt Marge and Grandma Ruby.

The memories and good and they are many. Even in our times of trials, and they have been few, but sometimes intense, mom has been there and when I say mom I include all of our family, not just JoAnn.

I have posted some photos below that share some of the experiences and feelings of watching my wife, family, and loved ones. It was impossible to include everyone, so please view and enjoy.

JoAnn with Danny and Ellen in Boise

Sally, Chas, Calvin, & JoAnn - It was our last photo with Calvin

JoAnn, Joshua (the only time he didn't smile) and me

JoAnn & Alyssa at a rest stop in western Colorado on our move to Las Vegas

JoAnn & Krissie on the ferry to the Outer Banks of North Carolina

The Longcor Clan, 1989

The McLean Clan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, 1981

My Mother and her Mother (Jean & Eura) in Arizona, c. 1970

Jeni, Grandma McLean, JoAnn, Donna, Modesto, CA, 1973

From the heart of a mother and grandmother - It says it all.

There is peace for a Mother. Taken in Bruge, Belgium.

Thanksgiving Weekends Present and Past

There is joy when there is food

We had a quiet Thanksgiving weekend at home this year. Last year we visited my family in California and the two years before that our whole family gathered in Boise, ID for what we decided was a great event, but also a little crazy.

I am reminded at this time of the year of recent and past Thanksgivings. When I was a child we would travel to Des Moines, IA, the family home, and gather two families together and have a large Thanksgiving feast - usually at the Merriam home since it was large enough to accommodate all of us. Grandpa would bring in saw horses and 2 large pieces of plywood for all of us to sit around the table - and we filled it. Unfortunately I could not find a Thanksgiving photo, but the Christmas photo from 1954 will have to do. Of course Grandpa Merriam was never in the photo, he was too busy taking pictures.


And some of our Thanksgivings were spent in other areas. Driving from Provo, UT to Port Angeles, WA in 1973 for a Thanksgiving with my younger brother. It brought together all 3 of the then McLean grandchildren of our parents. The ride to and from Thanksgiving is always exciting and this was no exception. Caught in the mountains of Oregon in a heavy snow our car died, we were towed many miles into a La Grande, OR where we had the car repaired. It was a long afternoon in a gas station. We were driving a Toyota and there were no Toyota dealers in town so we had to rely on the local mechanic, and of course he had never worked on a Toyota. Long story for later, but we finally left town and decided Bosie was as far as we could get that day. Little did we know that 23 years later we would be back in Boise for a wedding.

Below are the first 3 McLean grandchildren of our parent's generation, allbeit, not at a Thanksgiving table, but breakfast works.


That may have been the last quiet Thanksgiving we had, but nothing in 1973 could have prepared us for Thanksgiving 2005, back in Boise, ID for a family that included Mom and Dad (that's us), 7 children, 6 in-laws (1 daughter-in-law and 5 son-in-laws), and 10.9 grandchildren. What a roaring time we had at that Thanksgiving as the following photographs attest. Some experiences are so important to a family they should not be forgotten. Many of the photos of that year are found on my flickr page, the ones below, however, are focusing on fun, family, and of course, eating. Look and enjoy.

Yes, it is a little tough finding a table for 25.9

It isn't what everyone else has, it is what I have on my plate that counts!

Mike can always be counted on to bring joy, fun and uniqueness to the table.

And of course, the ".9" factor!

And so, Thanksgiving is truly about being thankful for all we have and especially for family. We give, we receive, we share, we joy, we pain, but in the end we are a family eternal.

My next posts may focus on the idea of listening and watching.

First Holds, or Close to First Holds

After writing about first time holding a new grandchild I went back into some of my photo archives to see if I had more. They are in this posting.

Grandma McLean holding Bonnie Jean

Great Grandma McLean holding Jeni with Donna watching. Great Grandma Merriam to the left.

Grandma McLean with Donna (I don't know who those 2 young people are)

Grandpa Merriam holding Pam

What Grandpa's Can't Prepare For. . .

Life is about anticipating, planning, participating, experiencing, and remembering. Sometimes things happen that do not allow us to plan or anticipate. Sometimes these are good. Some are not. Some things you cannot plan for. The loss of a grandson is one of those things. My daughters have written at considerably about the loss of our grandson, cousin, nephew and son. I have delayed doing so, not wanting to unnecessarily add to the grief. Yet I realize that I too need to add to the topic.

Calvin is one of the early motivations for this blog. I want to be able to remember my grandchildren in ways that are immediate and memorable. Too often we hear, see, feel and then let it go. I do keep a written journal, but that is more for me and my grandchildren when they are old enough to learn more about me.

As our oldest grandson Calvin is special. All of our grandchildren are special and always will be, but there is something about being the first grandchild that causes us feel differently. Until 15 months ago we did not live close to any of our children or grandchildren. The last 15 months has been special since we have been able to see our children and grandchildren so much more frequently. We have begun new bonds and I will talk about that in a later post. Calvin was the closest, just a mere 6.5 hours away.

At the internment Jill Holker, Calvin's aunt, captured this moment of 5 of the uncles and Cole (Calvin's little brother) touching the casket in a tender good-bye. In some way, this photo has spoken to me about love, loss, family, tenderness, and compassion. Everyone is expressing a thought. Tim and Cole have touched the casket as if to say "We are still with you."

I can't write this without tears. I still struggle with the grief that my oldest is gone. Yet, we celebrated his loss with joy and happiness too. We should never forget the smile, joy, pleasure, and downright orneriness that was part of Calvin. We all loved him for it. We will always love him for it. His body may be at rest, but his spirit lives on and as a family we will not forget.

The forgotten good-bye

It's all about where you start. The beginning is usually the best. I discover almost every day that being a grandparent is a wonderful experience. Take Sunday, I flew home early from Colorado and from my daughter's home. Her oldest daughter was asleep when I left and when she came down stairs later her first words were, "Where's Grandpa?" Mom goes, "He needed to get home so I took him to the airport." "He left without saying goodbye!"

Did I feel like a heal? Yep. I was trying to be quiet, keep the house noise down, and just sneak out, which I tend to do. Next time it will be all about waking everyone up. Sorry kids, but no more sneaking out - well maybe. I do love leaving late at night!
[Note: The photos is a few years old - Oldest daughter is now a teen]