Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Role Reversal
Almost 3 weeks ago JoAnn had surgery on her foot. It was out-patient surgery and the stitches were removed in two weeks, but she has to walk flat-footed for 6 weeks. The first few days she spent on her back and after the first week she sat up more and has become increasingly more mobile. Suzanne was here for the first 5 days and that was incredibly helpful.
After Suzanne left I was pretty much responsible for keeping things going. I don't need any snide comments girls! The first morning after Suzanne left I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen counter, put stuff away, got clothes going in the washer and drier, and tried to get everything as clean as JoAnn does. After about 2 hours I was beginning to understand why she doesn't get started on projects until about 2 pm. Since then, I've gotten better and quicker, and JoAnn has been more mobile and also helped out. Today I even vacuumed the floors and while I've done that occasionally, I'm like Whisper, when I hear her open the door to the vacuum closet I run and hide.
There have been some behavior patterns I really wasn't ready for. Last Thursday as we got up from lunch she walked over to the recliner and sat down. I looked down at the remains of lunch on the table and realized that I had just experienced a role reversal. I do try to help out in the kitchen and we do more and more together in the kitchen, but I suspect I'm AWOL pretty frequently. Now I know how JoAnn feels after preparing dinner, setting the table, and then being left to clean the table and kitchen. I also thought this was a 1 time role reversal experience, but it's becoming a habit. Not all the time, but more frequently. I think there might be a little payback involved here and I probably deserve it (once again, no comments girls).
I'm just anxious for JoAnn to make a full recovery - and she is doing very well - so we can reverse our roles once again, but with behavior change on my part. I have felt over the last several years that I was doing my part, but I realize now I wasn't, at least not enough. All those old rationalizations pretty much have to be thrown out with yesterday's garbage. They aren't even recyclable.
After Suzanne left I was pretty much responsible for keeping things going. I don't need any snide comments girls! The first morning after Suzanne left I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen counter, put stuff away, got clothes going in the washer and drier, and tried to get everything as clean as JoAnn does. After about 2 hours I was beginning to understand why she doesn't get started on projects until about 2 pm. Since then, I've gotten better and quicker, and JoAnn has been more mobile and also helped out. Today I even vacuumed the floors and while I've done that occasionally, I'm like Whisper, when I hear her open the door to the vacuum closet I run and hide.
There have been some behavior patterns I really wasn't ready for. Last Thursday as we got up from lunch she walked over to the recliner and sat down. I looked down at the remains of lunch on the table and realized that I had just experienced a role reversal. I do try to help out in the kitchen and we do more and more together in the kitchen, but I suspect I'm AWOL pretty frequently. Now I know how JoAnn feels after preparing dinner, setting the table, and then being left to clean the table and kitchen. I also thought this was a 1 time role reversal experience, but it's becoming a habit. Not all the time, but more frequently. I think there might be a little payback involved here and I probably deserve it (once again, no comments girls).I'm just anxious for JoAnn to make a full recovery - and she is doing very well - so we can reverse our roles once again, but with behavior change on my part. I have felt over the last several years that I was doing my part, but I realize now I wasn't, at least not enough. All those old rationalizations pretty much have to be thrown out with yesterday's garbage. They aren't even recyclable.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Father's Day Hopes
It's Father's Day again, my 41st as a father. JoAnn and I were talking about father's days and this father's expectations for our children. As we discussed the topic she said there was a difference between what my expectations were for our children and what they thought those expectations might be. That was both interesting and a little disconcerting.
I do have expectations, but I think the better term is hopes. Hopes are desires and beliefs in what you might become. They are less judgmental. I do not want you (forgive the tense change) to have a pass-fail perception about what I think you do in your life. You need to live your own lives - and you all do - and not worry about what I might think. However, on occasion I've been willing to share my thoughts without you asking for it. I'm trying to get better about that.
What are my hopes? They are simple. First, that you love your spouse and children and make them the most important people in your lives. Second, that you love our Heavenly Father and honor Him in your actions and thought. Third, that you find joy in living every day. That's it. Everything else is incidental to those. Like my own father, I'm proud of each of you and your and families and what you are doing with your lives. Each of us lives a different life. It was meant to be that way. What binds us is our family and the love for one another. Knowing that love is unconditional and free of expectation strengthens our family and allows us to grow individually and together.
This may appear as a bit of a ramble, but at the end of the day, it's what we do in our homes with our families that ultimately is important. It's my joy as a father to support, sustain, and assist (when asked).
Thanks for being such great daughters, sons, sons-in-laws, daughters-in-laws, and grandchildren.
I do have expectations, but I think the better term is hopes. Hopes are desires and beliefs in what you might become. They are less judgmental. I do not want you (forgive the tense change) to have a pass-fail perception about what I think you do in your life. You need to live your own lives - and you all do - and not worry about what I might think. However, on occasion I've been willing to share my thoughts without you asking for it. I'm trying to get better about that.
What are my hopes? They are simple. First, that you love your spouse and children and make them the most important people in your lives. Second, that you love our Heavenly Father and honor Him in your actions and thought. Third, that you find joy in living every day. That's it. Everything else is incidental to those. Like my own father, I'm proud of each of you and your and families and what you are doing with your lives. Each of us lives a different life. It was meant to be that way. What binds us is our family and the love for one another. Knowing that love is unconditional and free of expectation strengthens our family and allows us to grow individually and together.
This may appear as a bit of a ramble, but at the end of the day, it's what we do in our homes with our families that ultimately is important. It's my joy as a father to support, sustain, and assist (when asked).
Thanks for being such great daughters, sons, sons-in-laws, daughters-in-laws, and grandchildren.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wordless Wednesday - people identification
I posted this photo earlier this morning and had a request from one daughter to identify everyone in the photo. The 2nd photo (click on it to make it larger) identifies everyone in the photo except the dog. Enjoy it.
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